How women's communication differs from men's. Features of male and female communication styles. The importance of communication for men and women

Women often complain that men do not understand them. To men, women's conversations seem illogical and empty. Why do such disagreements arise between people who sincerely want to understand each other?

The science called gender psychology studies the differences in the psychology of men and women. She identified about 300 differences between the characteristics of thinking and behavior of representatives of different sexes. The priority direction of her study is gender characteristics of communication.

A man thinks in verbs and nouns, and a woman thinks in adjectives.
Oleg Roy.

Which of us has a greater need for communication?

Already from early childhood Girls have a greater need for communication than boys. Over the years, this trend has continued. Representatives of the fair sex are superior to men in verbal abilities. They have a richer vocabulary and faster speaking speed.

The main thing in communication for men is to achieve results as quickly as possible. That is why in a conversation they tend to speak to the point, starting the conversation with important points. For representatives of the stronger sex, logical, consistent and well-reasoned statements are important. They do not like lengthy discussions and abstract conversations. Women prefer to have a long conversation, with large quantity examples. They like to find out the truth during the conversation, asking a large number of questions.

Very important point, which quite often leads to conflict situations, is that when a man is busy with something, he will not maintain a conversation. It is natural for women to multitask and discuss last news. Men always focus on performing one type of activity; they cannot distribute their attention. Women need to take this into account. If a man is busy, then it is better to postpone the conversation with him.

Afletunova Gulshat Eduardovna

3rd year student, Department of ISE, Perm State Technical University, Russian Federation, Yoshkar-Ola

Email: gulshat. afletunova@ yandex. ru

Bogdanov Anton Igorevich

scientific supervisor, Ph.D. f. Sciences, Art. teacher. Perm State Technical University, Russian Federation, Yoshkar-Ola

Modern science shows great interest in the social conditioning of language and speech. Based on many studies, it has been proven that when studying the influence of social characteristics on speech, it is necessary to take into account the gender of the person.

The speech behavior of men and women is built on the basis of historically established stereotypes that were recorded in the language. The existence of differences in the language of different sexes was already characteristic of the languages ​​of primitive times. N.B. Mechkovskaya writes that male and women's tongues differed primarily in vocabulary. Hunting or construction vocabulary, for example, was known by men, and home economics vocabulary by women

Until the 60s, science did not show much interest in the speech characteristics of men and women. For the first time, gender, as a social factor that determines the characteristics of speech development, began to be mentioned in the works of U. Labov and P. Trudgill. One of the first works in this area is considered to be the book by American researcher Robin Lakoff, “Language and the Place of Women.” This topic “language and gender” in Lately is actively being developed.

Today, the science of linguistics deals with this problem. Linguistics is the science that studies languages. In the broad sense of the word, linguistics is divided into scientific and practical. Most often, linguistics refers to scientific linguistics.

Speech behavior is a complex phenomenon that is associated with the place of birth of a person and the place of his education, be it a regular school or, for example, a closed lyceum. On speech behavior a person is also influenced by the environment in which he communicates, that is, the person’s usual environment, his upbringing and national characteristics. However, the main factor undoubtedly influencing a person’s speech behavior is the fact that he belongs to the masculine and feminine principles. As V.N. writes Telia in one of her works “Women are more likely to act in actual speech acts; they switch more easily, “change” roles in the act of communication.” Men, on the contrary, switch in the act of communication much harder, and, getting carried away by the topic of conversation or dialogue, they stop responding to other remarks that are not related to it.

Scientists began talking about differences in verbal communication between men and women at the end of the 17th century, when they discovered native tribes. The differences in male and female speech are not so significant; they do not always manifest themselves in any speech act, and also do not indicate that gender is the main factor of communication, as was assumed at the initial stage of the development of feminist linguistics. Science has also concluded that each person exhibits different speech behavior in different situations.

Research has shown that by taking several people of the same gender and age, but having different professional status, it is possible to find differences in their linguistic communication.

Human speech behavior is different in different situations. For example, at work or at home a person has a certain speech behavior, and when in a new and unfamiliar environment the same person shows a completely different speech behavior.

However, gender linguistics today does not deny that there are certain traits that are characteristic only of men and only of women. For example, women are more characterized by non-conflict and emotionality. The main topics in a woman’s conversations are family, relationships, fashion, raising children, as well as art and literature. In conversation, women are more detailed than men, and also often refer to films, books and personal experiences. It has also been noticed that women have a greater number of introductory words than men, and women more often use “high words” in their speech. Psychologists also highlight such a feature as the presence of exaggerations and generalizations in women’s language. For male speech, accuracy and specificity are more acceptable. The main topic of conversation among men is the business they are interested in (hunting, fishing, etc.), as well as innovative development and politics. Men more often refer to authorities, and, according to psychologists, these authorities are most often men. Men often use irony and professional language in their speech. Their speech is characterized by a huge use of introductory words and a predominance of verbs over other parts of speech. Linguists also claim that the use of obscene words occurs more often in men than in women.

Differences in speech behavior between men and women are reflected in the stories they tell. Men talk mainly about themselves and it is he who emerges victorious from any situation. Women, on the contrary, say in to a greater extent about others than about themselves, and they often talk not about their “heroic deeds”, but about their own stupidity, for example, about how they forgot the keys at home and slammed the door, or how they took out an unnecessary piece of paper instead of a document.

The conversation style of men and women also has its own characteristics. For example, men very often question the authority of their interlocutor and are more willing to enter into conflicts. As noted above, women have less conflict and more often avoid the possibility of open “battle” in conversation. Men are more willing to speak in a circle unfamiliar to them and feel more comfortable while doing so, while women, on the contrary, feel comfortable talking in a narrower circle of their loved ones. Men, according to linguists, before starting to speak, think in detail about everything that was heard from the interlocutor and only after that formulate an answer and say it. For women, everything happens exactly the opposite. A woman speaks first, demonstrating her internal process of thinking about what has been said, and only in the process of speaking does she discover exactly what she wants to say.

As noted by A.Yu. Belyaeva in her article, female speech is also characterized by the use of elementary attention signals such as “aha”. In the speech of women, there are often examples of the use of words with the meaning of uncertainty about the truth of what they are talking about. These can be modal words “like”, “probably”, “in my opinion”. The speech of men differs from women in that they quite often use the adverbs probably “or” and “probably” in the sense of “undoubtedly, truly, accurately.” But in most cases, men use modal words to be absolutely sure that their own opinion is correct.

Male speech is also characterized by the influence of such factors as profession. Men widely use professional terminology in casual communication. Women, on the contrary, try to use a language that is simpler and more understandable to their interlocutor, in order to be “on an equal footing” with their interlocutor.

We can conclude that the speech behavior of men and women is directly opposite. Men are usually immersed in their train of thoughts, and if they get carried away in conversation, they do not react to environment. A woman, on the other hand, conducts a conversation more openly and reacts sensitively to the entire environment.

IN modern world The social roles of men and women are equalized. Language is only one aspect through which a person expresses his gender identity in this world. A woman accompanies her demands to a greater extent various forms politeness and so-called formal restrictions. For a man in a conversation, the most important task is, first of all, to assert his own leading positions and compete in establishing leading status roles. Research shows that men, when they talk to each other, very rarely interrupt each other during the dialogue. But at the same time, when they talk to women, the amount of interruption increases sharply and becomes a general trend in the conversation.

When men talk to men, they tend to very rarely doubt each other's competence. Then, when a woman decides to show her competence in the presence of a man, the man perceives this as a challenge, as aggression on the part of the woman, and seeks to suppress her.

The nature of communication between men and women depends on a large number of different factors, the study of which is still ongoing. Linguistics is a developing science, as the social roles of men and women change over time.

Bibliography:

1. Zemskaya E.A., Kitaigorodskaya M.A., Rozanova N.N. Features of male and female speech // Russian language in its functioning. Ed. E.A. Zemskaya and D.N. Shmeleva. M.: Nauka, 1993. - pp. 90-136.
2. Kirilina A.V. Gender: linguistic aspects. M.: Institute of Sociology of the Russian Academy of Sciences, 1999. - 189 p.
3. West K., Zimmerman D. Doing gender // Gender notebooks. Vol. 1. St. Petersburg, 1997. - pp. 94-124.

1.Introduction………………………………………………………………………………....3

2. The importance of communication for men and women…………………………….4

3 . Sexual characteristics of social perception…………………….……….4

4. Attitude towards the opposite sex…………………………………...6

5. Gender characteristics of children’s choice of communication partner……………….9

6. Social circle of women and men……………………………………11

7. Closeness of communication and gender……………………………………………………12

8. Male and female communication styles……………………………………..15

9. References……………………………………………………….27

Introduction.

This paper discusses the results of studies of the characteristics of communication between men and women. It talks about what kind of partners children and adults, male and female, choose for communication, what assessments are given by male and female persons to representatives of their own and other sexes, between representatives of which gender there is higher cohesion, for which of them the importance of communication is higher, what are the characteristics of the perception of others people men and women.

A special place in the work is given to male and female communication styles, similarities, and differences between men and women.

The purpose of the work is to illuminate modern approaches to the understanding of men and women with each other, to achieve it, research from various authors dealing with this issue was used.

The topic is certainly relevant, since man is a purely social being and cannot exist outside of society, therefore everyone must be able to communicate, taking into account the characteristics of those around him. Communication with the opposite sex also occupies a very large and important place in our lives.

The work is divided into eight points, each of which covers issues identified in the purpose of the work.

1. The importance of communication for men and women.

The gender emotional differentiation already present in toddlers (1.5 years old) (girls are more emotional) and the difference in interests also influences the differences in communication between male and female children. So, playing kindergarten, boys show interest in subjects, and girls - in personal relationships. Girls show more responsibility and "mothering" towards other children. At any age, girls are more likely than boys to be involved in “social” games with the participation of other children. Girls' great concern about their appearance and behavior is an indirect manifestation of their interest in the opinions of others about themselves. Girls ask parents more questions about social relations(W. Johnson, L. Termal, 1940; L. Terman, L. Tyler, 1954). As a result, girls are more ready to communicate than boys. O. A. Tyrnov (1996), for example, found that boys more often than girls use template types of interaction. They are less proficient in the techniques and methods of communication. Girls are more flexible and varied in communication.

Girls' greater desire to communicate has also been shown by other researchers. The same pattern was found for adults (Psychological..., 1977; S. M. Petrova, 1995). A. A. Bodalev (1983), for example, found that the volume of communication among men is one and a half times less than among women. The great importance of communication for women is emphasized by the fact that among people aged 70 to 90 years, sociability gives a high a positive correlation with the experience of happiness specifically in women, but does not find the same connection in men (W. Johnson, L. Termal, 1940).

2 . Gender characteristics of social perception.

The greater subjective significance of interaction with another person and relationships in general results in a comparatively greater development of social perceptual abilities in women than in men: women more subtly grasp the state of another person by changes in the timbre of the voice and in other expressive manifestations, and more accurately determine the effect of their own influence to another person.

Thus, according to A. A. Bodalev (1976), female students recorded all the main aspects in which a person’s external appearance is expressed more often than male students. At the same time, the differences in the frequency of recording such characteristics of physical appearance as height and eyes turned out to be significant.

The advantage of girls was revealed by the accuracy of recording such characteristics as the appearance of perceived people, body proportionality, hair and eye color, and some others.

V. S. Ageev (1985) showed that, despite cross-cultural differences between Russian and Vietnamese students, when assessing the business, communication and personal qualities of a stranger, the assessment of representatives of their own sex reveals fewer differences than those of the opposite sex (Table)

Female faces provide more detailed descriptions of another person than male faces. This was revealed, in particular, in the study of A. A. Bodalev. Girls noted all personality traits (except for attitude to work) more often than boys, while gender differences in the frequency of recording communicative character traits and intellectual qualities were significant. At the same time, boys gave characteristics of personality in general 2 times more often than girls.

The same pattern was shown by A.I. Dontsov and Sh.V. Sarkisyan (1980). The subjects were presented with one photograph of a man and a woman with a neutral facial expression. When creating an individual portrait, men used fewer elements than women. Moreover, when creating a male portrait, men used more elements than when creating a female one, regardless of their relationship to the object being described; Women, when individually describing a woman, used more elements than when describing a man if the attitude towards her was positive, and fewer elements if the attitude towards the woman depicted in the photograph was negative.

When assessing people, females are more “kind” than males. This follows from the data of J. Lendel (1978): when assessing their favorite teacher in almost every grade (from 8th to 10th), girls indicated more positive qualities than boys (by 15.2%), and when assessing their unloved teacher boys indicated more by 14.5% negative qualities than girls.

For men, physical signs of attractiveness are crucial when perceiving women. Highly expressive women are perceived as friendlier than low expressive women (J. Tucker, H. Friedman, 1993).

A. A. Bodalev (1983) provides data according to which low and high voices in men and women evoke completely different associations regarding the personal qualities of the owners of the voices among people listening to them for the first time. Tension in a woman's voice did not lead to the attribution of negative characteristics to her, whereas tension in a man's voice tended to make people think that he lacked self-control, had low intelligence, was vulnerable, etc.

Verbosity in men was perceived as a flaw in their personality, while in women it was perceived as the norm.

3. Attitude towards the opposite sex.

Many studies have shown that members of the same sex are rated higher than members of the opposite sex. And this trend begins to manifest itself in children. preschool age. When T. A. Repina studied the emotional and personal relationships of preschoolers, it was revealed that mutual choices between children of the same sex amounted to 84.8%, and between children of different sexes - only 15.2%. At the same time, the stability of elections among girls was greater than among boys.

As V.E. Kagan (2000) notes, children of both sexes 4-6 years old believe that girls better than boys, with the difference that boys have the emotional attitude “boys are worse than girls, and I am bad,” and girls have the emotional attitude “girls are better than boys, and I am good.”

The same trend was found among schoolchildren. D. Hartley (1981) studied how boys and girls assessed the behavior of members of their own and the opposite sex at school. It turned out that boys evaluate girls' behavior only with positive side, and your own - both positive and negative. Girls define their behavior as good, and boys' behavior as bad. The author's interpretation of these facts comes down to the fact that the roles of a schoolboy and a schoolgirl relate differently to gender roles. stereotypes. The ideas of a “good” schoolgirl and a “real” woman do not contradict each other, while being a good (diligent) schoolboy and at the same time a “real” man appear as contradictory ideas in the minds of students.

In a study by N. A. Vasilyev et al. (1979) on a large sample of schoolchildren, it was revealed that the emotional and personal assessment of representatives of one’s own and the opposite sex differs significantly between boys and girls. In all grades (from 1st to 10th), girls in the vast majority of cases rated girls higher than boys.

For boys, the age dynamics of grades were more complicated. In the lower grades, they assessed both boys and girls approximately equally often emotionally and positively. In the middle classes, boys' sympathies were clearly with members of their own sex. In high school, the picture changes dramatically: sympathy for members of the same sex was rare, and the frequency of manifestations of sympathy for girls even exceeded the number of sympathy attributed to representatives of both sexes to the same extent (Fig.).

A more positive attitude towards members of the same sex remains, according to A. G. Shestakov< 1997), и у взрослых, хотя и это не так сильно выражено, как у детей.

girls were rated higher

boys were rated higher

boys and girls were rated equally

1-4 grades 5-8 grades 9-10 grades

Rice. Emotionally positive assessment by schoolchildren of different classes of their classmates of the same and opposite sex.

4.Gender characteristics of children's choice of communication partners.

Differences in children's attitudes toward peers of the opposite sex also affect their choice of communication and play partners.

The difference is evident already from childhood. Boys strive for independence: they assert their individuality, trying to separate themselves from the teacher, usually their mother.

Similar trends exist, according to E. R. Slobodskaya (1980), already in nursery children of 3 years old when playing with peers. So early manifestation sexual differentiation in communication, according to the author, allows us to raise the question of the contribution of the genetic factor to the manifestation of this phenomenon.

According to E.R. Slobodskaya and Yu.M. Plyusnin (1987), when children are spatially close (when the distance between them is less than a meter), there is a clear preference for boys over boys, a lack of mutual preferences for girls and a smaller expected number of preferences for each other by children of different sexes .

A similar nature of preferences is noted in interactions during object play and taking away an object: boys prefer to play with each other

with each other and more often take objects away from each other; girls do not demonstrate mutual preferences, and the frequency of contacts between boys and girls is less than expected.

When choosing partners for communication and games, children are guided by those personal qualities and behavior patterns that correspond to the female and male gender. Relationships between boys are built, as a rule, on the recognition of the ability to organize, achieve positive result, defend your opinion, defend yourself. Girls in relationships with girls are attracted, first of all, by spiritual qualities and appearance.

Domestic and foreign researchers note the role of differences in interests and preferred activities, which largely determine the association of preschoolers for role-playing games with peers of the same sex (J. Campbell, 1964; S. Golberg, M. Lewis, 1969; W. Hartup, A Zook, 1960; T. A. Repina, 1984; I. V. Telnyuk, 1999).

Sexual consolidation, observed in younger preschoolers, in pre-school age not only strengthens, but even increases: the child establishes 91% of selective contacts with peers of the same sex and only 9% with children of the opposite sex. Of all gaming associations, 75% were homogeneous by gender, and if we take into account only stable associations, then their number increases to 91% (T. A. Repina).

According to I.V. Telnyuk, contacts and play interaction between preschool children of the same sex in most cases last longer, and fewer conflict situations arise. Play contacts are not disrupted if only one boy plays among the girls. The appearance of a second boy entails rivalry and inconsistency in the children's play actions. Boys also accept girls in their games, but they do not like it when there are many of them and do not accept girls who are rejected emotionally.

L. Koch (L. Koch et al., 1956) notes that for boys, peers of the same sex are of greater importance, since boys gravitate less towards adults and family, they are more sensitive to social pressure from peers that is unacceptable for their gender behavior. L. Weitzman (1979) believes that one of the functions of a same-sex peer group for a boy is that in it he acquires masculine traits and the independence he needs from his mother through solidarity with peers and through competition with them. Therefore, group activities are more typical for boys' games. Girls' play occurs in smaller groups, with less aggression and more reciprocity and trust (Lever, 1978).

Assessing the acceptability of another person is associated with the idea of ​​a similar high mutual assessment on the part of this person (N.V. Bakhareva, 1976). This association is higher in girls than in boys, regardless of age. Consequently, for girls, the role of others' perceptions of themselves is more important for establishing relationships with them than for boys.

Due to higher competitiveness, boys more often than girls prefer to be friends with those who achieve less success and distance themselves from those

peers who have better academic or athletic performance (S. Cross, L. Madson, 1997). Female students, on the contrary, were friends with those who achieved better results than themselves.

5. Social circle of women and men.

A. A. Bodalev showed that women’s circle of direct communication includes more people of different ages than men. This is confirmed by the data obtained by I. S. Kon (1973). If young men, when communicating with representatives of the opposite sex, are guided mainly by their peers, then girls, in a significant part of them, are guided by older representatives of the male sex. So, according to I. S. Kon, to the question: “What age would you prefer for a friend?” 80% of young men gave preference to a peer, 20% to an older one, and only in rare cases to a younger one. Girls give preference to older people in 40-50% and do not choose anyone younger than themselves. At the same time, their position regarding communication with persons of different ages extremely contradictory. Thus, they willingly take care of (help, instruct, care for) younger children.

According to A. A. Bodalev (1983), in the circle of closest contacts of men, there were 21-34% more people engaged in the same activities as them,

than women. Men, compared to women, among the people who were subjectively significant to them and with whom they directly communicated, also had more people with a higher social status (by 24-27%).

The basis for including a particular person in men’s social circle is the possibility of receiving various types of help from these persons, as well as their participation in meeting everyday household needs. With age, the reasons for forming a circle of direct communication change. If in children preference is given based on emotional gender, then in adults the main factor in choosing communication partners is pragmatism.

Interesting facts were revealed by R. Hagen and A. Kahn (R. Hagen, A. Kahn, 1975): in real interpersonal interaction and on a purely personal level, highly competent women do not enjoy the favor of not only men, but also women. The authors experimentally established that both tend to exclude competent women from their group. The authors explain this by the fact that women's high competence violates existing gender-role stereotypes. A man losing to a woman almost always means a decrease in his self-esteem, since a “real” man should always beat a woman (obviously, for this reason, separate world chess championship competitions are held for men and women, although some prominent representatives of the “weaker sex” have repeatedly proven that they are no weaker than many international grandmasters).

In old age, women tend to actively expand interpersonal contacts, while men limit their contacts to

family (I.V. Panina, N.N. Sachuk, 1985)..

6. Closeness of communication and gender.

Among friendly girls, relationships are more trusting than among boys (K. Rubin, 1983). Girls develop close friendships with the opposite sex earlier than boys (R. Sharabany, R. Gershony, J. Hoffman, 1981).

The same trend continues in adults. According to M. Argyle and other authors (M. Caldwell, L. Peplau, 1982; K. Dolginetal., 1991), women have closer friendships than men, they are more prone to self-disclosure and have more intimate conversations.

Moreover, the intimacy of relationships is already strongly manifested among teenage girls, which encourages them to establish contacts with people of the opposite sex. A. A. Bodalev (1979) notes that indirect evidence of the greater importance of the sphere of interpersonal, in particular intimate, communications for women and less for men are the causes of male and female neuroses. According to the Psychoneurological Institute named after. V. M. Bekhtereva, about 80% of women’s neuroses are a consequence of such a development of relationships in the family sphere, which is at odds with their desires, with their aspirations, and in men this factor is related to neuroses only in 20% of cases. Absence intimate relationships Women worry more than men, but at the same time they are better able to camouflage and sublimate.

Both men and women describe their friendships with women as closer, more enjoyable, and more caring.

Although men are more likely to engage in joint activities and play games with friends, they have more “secrets” than women, are less frank and are reluctant to share intimate information with others. Even if they experience a fairly strong feeling of affection, they are afraid to show it, since self-disclosure is considered a sign of weakness and leads to a loss of respect from other men. This is why men are more lonely than women. Despite the fact that men may have a wider social circle, communication is more superficial than that of women. Men are rarely expected to provide emotional support, as they react to another person's feelings being revealed to them in such a logical and unemotional way that it can be mistaken for rejection. In turn, men who avoid self-disclosure thereby reduce the opportunity to receive support from others, since others may not realize that they need such support (M. Saurer, R. Eisler, 1990).

Women consider their communication with people close to them to be closer and more stable than men. Fifty-seven percent of women reported an increase in intimacy with other people with age, and only 7% of them reported a decrease. In men, only 20% of those examined confirmed its increase, and 51% confirmed its decrease; 29% of men rated their communication contacts with women as closer and at the same time more unstable. Cohesion. According to V.N. Vasilyeva and N.A. Vasilyev (1979), in the lower grades the cohesion of girls is higher than that of boys, but from the 5th grade boys become more cohesive than girls (table). The greater cohesion of men compared to women was also confirmed in student study groups: in men's groups the cohesion coefficient was in the range of 0.28-0.53, and in women's groups it was 0.08-0.11.

These data indicate that girls, upon entering school, establish contacts with each other faster than boys, but these contacts are less strong and are easily destroyed in middle and high school. The lack of contact between boys and girls leads to the fact that overall cohesion in grades 1-8 was practically zero (from 0.09 to 0.16) and only in grades 9-10 increased to 0.59-0. 27.

According to V. A. Goncharov (2001), the number of “outcasts” among schoolchildren in grades 7-8 is much higher among girls, although they often do not realize their position in the class. Girls are rejected because of their temperament or intelligence, and boys are rejected because of their personality. The number of schoolchildren who received a large number of positive choices is higher among boys (41-54%) than among girls (37-42%), which confirms greater cohesion among boys than among girls.

As noted by Ya. L. Kolominsky (A. A. Rean, Ya. L. Kolominsky, 1999), most often representatives of the opposite sex are chosen by those students of primary and secondary classes who occupy an unfavorable position in the system of personal relationships. So, if “stars” chose representatives of the opposite sex in 30%, then rejected ones - in 75%.

According to foreign authors, relationships between men are characterized by greater conflict and competition (E. Aries, E. Johnson, 1983; R. Aucket et al., 1988; K. Farr, 1988). Boys sort out conflicting relationships among themselves through force, rejecting the weaker. Conflict situations between girls are resolved by emotional level, in disputes, boycotting. They often “slander” each other. Tender nicknames are common among girls, while boys base their nicknames on physical characteristics or surnames.

7. Male and female communication styles.

The manner of communication between men and women was given great importance also in Ancient Greece. Individual male representatives can demonstrate their outlook on life and style of behavior ranging from fierce competition to tender care. The same is true for women.

For example, a man was supposed to keep his head held high, otherwise he could be mistaken for a homosexual. Women, on the contrary, were not supposed to look the interlocutor directly in the eyes. A glance averted to the side indicated bashfulness, modesty, and humility. True, morals change over the centuries, Now women don’t look away. On the contrary, according to R. Eks-line, women look at interviewers more often than men.

The communication style characteristic of men reinforces their authority in society. Acting as leaders in situations where there is no strict distribution of roles, men tend to be authoritarian, and women tend to be democratic. Men have a much easier time with a directive, problem-oriented leadership style, while women have a much easier time with the style of a social leader who creates a “team spirit.” Men, more than women, place importance on winning, being superior, and dominating others. If an organization adopts a democratic leadership style, women are valued as highly as men as leaders. With an authoritarian style, female leaders are rated lower. People are more willing to accept “strong and assertive” male leadership than “intrusive and aggressive” female leadership.

The male style of communication shows a concern for independence, and the female one - about mutual dependence. Men are more prone to actions characteristic of people in power: they speak with pressure, interrupt the interlocutor, touch him with their hands, look him in the eyes more firmly, and smile less often. Women (especially in mixed-sex groups) prefer less direct ways of influencing the interlocutor, corresponding to the female understanding of relationships between people; they interrupt less, are more tactful and polite, and are less self-confident.

Traditionally, it is customary to define the male communication style as a desire for independence, and the female communication style as codependency. In psychology and interactionist studies of everyday communication, it has been shown that men are more prone to actions characteristic of people in power: they speak with pressure, interrupt the interlocutor, touch him with their hands, look him firmly in the eyes, smile less often. Women, especially in mixed-sex groups, prefer less direct ways of influencing their interlocutor: they interrupt less, are more tactful and polite, and demonstrate less self-confidence. It was also noted that men are more likely to come to the aid of a woman, while women help a person regardless of his gender.

Male and female communication styles vary depending on the social context. The authoritarian style, the characteristics of which we attribute to men, is characteristic of any person speaking from a position of strength. Moreover, there are also differences at the individual level: some men negotiate hesitantly and cautiously, while some women negotiate assertively and straightforwardly.

Like communication styles, gender differences depend on social context. In provoking circumstances, gender differences disappear. At the same time, it cannot be said that women are more restrained than men in other forms of aggression - with equal probability they can, say, hit someone from their family or insult them verbally.

The male style of communication from early childhood looks more active and substantive. Men are more direct in their needs, which makes them more understandable and predictable than women. The masculine style emphasizes independence, a tendency to action, characteristic of people in power, while the feminine style emphasizes interdependence. Men speak with emphasis, interrupt their interlocutor, make firmer eye contact, and smile less often (Bartol and Martin, 1986; Carli, 1991; Johnson, 1993; Major et al., 1990; Cross, Madson, 1997). True, a lot depends on the social group and the man’s position in it. In all-male groups, men smile and laugh less often than women in all-female groups. However, in mixed groups, male leaders smiled more often when interacting with female subordinates, and male subordinates interacted with female leaders than women (S. Johnson, 1993). Women (especially in mixed-sex groups) prefer less direct ways of influencing their interlocutor - they interrupt less, are more tactful and polite, and are less self-confident. They are more likely to ask questions, repeat them, and more often express doubt or denial about their statements in order to soften their opinion and show at least minimal support for the other speaker. L. Carli et al. (1995) found that women were slightly more likely than men to have justifiable intonation, friendliness in facial expression,

degree of inclination and tension of posture, calm gestures. Female leaders laughed equally often when interacting with both men and women (unlike male leaders who laughed only in the presence of the opposite sex - S. Johnson, 1993).

Male communication is characterized by greater emotional restraint, a desire for dominance, and creative and rational ways of interaction (L. Carli et al., 1995). Men communicate with each other at a greater distance; they are less likely to hug and especially kiss. This is due, as some authors believe, to the fear that they will be suspected of homosexuality. However, these standards are not followed in all countries. In Morocco, as S. Bern writes, men can freely walk the streets, holding hands or even holding the elbow. For a man, the content of joint activities is more important than individual sympathy for partners.

Women express their emotions and feelings more freely, including with people of the opposite sex; they have a larger range of interpersonal distances, each of which shows a certain level of intimacy with a person (D. Forsyth, 1990). Due to their greater social orientation, women are more clearly aware of the fragile ties that unite people and make their communication more trusting. The female style of communication is associated with such interpersonal relationships, which are characterized by subordinate" or socially desirable strategies of behavior, demonstrating which a woman relies more on intuition (G. Jones, S. Jacklin, 1988). Researchers note that the main classic difference: men are task-oriented, and women are focused on developing relationships, is gradually losing its dominant position in the list of differences in the business style of men and women. But, if a man most often has a motive for making a decision, it turns out to be the benefit of the matter (as he imagines it); then a woman has much more motives: the common good, good relationships, but also jealousy, revenge, the desire to “do something nasty.” Men tend to be authoritarian, women tend to be democratic. If the organization adopts a democratic style of communication, then women as leaders are valued as highly as men, and if it is authoritarian, then women leaders are rated lower. Men in the organization are defined as: strong, active, assertive, and women are defined as aggressive and intrusive. The male style of communication indicates a desire for social dominance and independence, while the female style indicates mutual dependence, partnership or cooperation. More or less recognized differences between men's and women's business styles are expressed in the following:

1. Men are characterized by the so-called technocratic style, while women are characterized by an emotional-egoistic style. Men perceive innovations more easily, while women are more inclined to traditions. Men are quicker to grasp the problem as a whole, women are more attentive to details. On the other hand, women (right-dominant individuals) more easily see the entire field of problems and, in parallel, individual moments; men (left-dominant) prefer to consider situations sequentially.

2. For men, rationality and simplicity are the main criteria for the correctness of a decision, for women - positive human consequences.

3. Men constantly strive to nullify the emotional intensity of the activity; women cannot work without a personal relationship to the subject of the activity and their partners.

4. For a man, the result is more important than the process, for a woman - vice versa. When solving any problem, men prefer to cut down intermediate links; women are characterized by elaboration of details and inhibition of making a final decision.

5. Women rely on themselves, and men on the team, although in reality women are more inclined to consult and communicate, and men are more prone to authoritarian ways of making decisions. Women are more careful than men; they do not like to take risks.

6. Women are more often shy in front of their superiors, submit to someone else's authority and tend to believe that the interests of others are more important than their own.

7. Women are unable to separate their personal and professional lives emotionally. Both happy and unhappy women work worse, while a happy or unhappy man at work is able to disconnect from his personal problems, and in his private life forget about work. 90% of men consider work to be the most important thing in life.

The behavior and communications of men and women in public and private life are determined by the norms and stereotypes of sexual behavior. Many men believe that they are playing their role correctly when they behave in an autocratic, assertive, impolite manner. And women in conditions of emancipation begin to imitate exactly this, authoritarian behavior of a man. That is, instead of liberation from male chauvinism - legal, social and psychological, they fall into the forced dependence of imitating a role alien to them, that is, they lose internal independence, striving for external independence.

Exchange of views. As E.R. Slobodskaya and Yu.M. Plyusnin (1987) note, there are more glances directed at boys by boys than at girls. Girls also have more views directed at boys than views directed at girls.

True, there are other observations. Thus, W. Ickes and R. Barnes (1978) noticed that boys and girls with traditional ideas about gender roles look at each other less often, talk to each other less often, smile less and use fewer gestures when communicating compared to those students whose gender-role attitudes are more liberal. It is possible that these features of communication between people of different sexes are due to shyness associated with age.

Women look at their interlocutor more often while listening than while speaking, but men do not have such differences (J. Hall, 1996).

Differences in Appeals. The messages directed at men and women also differ. R. Rubin (1981) found in a survey of university teachers that students call young female teachers by name much more often than men. Sportswriters call female tennis players by name much more often than tennis players (53% and 8% of cases, respectively). In endearing nicknames, a woman turns into food or baby animals: sweet, sheep, candy, kitten, bunny, chicken, etc. According to psychologists, this confirms the attitude towards a woman as a person of lower status.

Gestures used by men and women in communication. Gestures during communication are used by men and women in different variations and with different frequencies. Men use touching others more often than women, the latter prefer touching themselves.

Gesture of trust - “Dome” - fingers connected like the dome of a temple.

This means trust, but often at the same time some complacency, confidence in one’s infallibility, selfishness or pride. This gesture immediately communicates that the person is very confident in what he is saying. This pose can be adopted to instill absolute confidence in yourself. During this gesture, the hands can be at different heights. Women usually place their fingers together on their knees when sitting or just above the waist when standing.

The hand-to-chest gesture has been regarded since the times of Ancient Rome as openness and honesty. Women rarely use this gesture.

Protective stroking of the neck with the palm. In many cases, when a person takes a defensive position, the hand moves back, as if pulling back to strike or withdrawing as if from a burn, but this is masked by the fact that after this the person places his hand on the neck. Women usually straighten their hair at the same time.

For a woman, a typical gesture of uncertainty is a slow and graceful raising of the hand to the neck; if a necklace is worn, the hand touches it, as if checking whether it is in place.

Masculine behavior is characterized by sitting with legs wide apart, taking long steps, and speaking in a loud voice (P. Gallaher, 1992).

The role of height ratios between men and women. In experiments by M. Argyle with a group of Oxford psychologists, a clear connection was revealed between “conversation distance” and the growth of interlocutors, and this connection turned out to be different for men and women. The taller a man is, the closer he comes to his interlocutor and, conversely, the shorter a man is, the further he prefers to be from his interlocutor. In women, the opposite relationship was observed. The authors of the experiment explain this by saying that in our society a kind of “cultural norm” has developed - a man should be tall, and a woman, on the contrary, should be petite. Therefore, people unconsciously strive to conform to these standards. A tall man is pleased to stand next to his interlocutor, while a tall woman, on the contrary, tends to move away to hide her shortcomings. It follows that you should not come close to a tall woman or a short man during a conversation - it will be unpleasant for them. On the other hand, you can approach a miniature woman or a tall man almost closely - they will be pleased.

As V. M. Pogolsha notes (cited from V. N. Kunitsyna et al., 2001), male and female communication styles are mainly formed under the influence of historically established gender role stereotypes, although the role of psychophysiological characteristics is not denied.

In the twentieth century, new models of masculinity and femininity emerge, as society matures first to the idea of ​​equality of the sexes, and then to the formula “equality in difference.” Despite the evolution of the criteria of masculinity and femininity in the history of culture, it should be noted that in our society, in which competition is an integral part of life and consciousness, a man is doomed to competition, hence his emotional isolation and the ever-pervasive fear of failure. Therefore, a man’s behavior is determined by his idea of ​​the correspondence of personal claims to his place in life and the opinion of a representative group about him - bosses, colleagues, subordinates, relatives and friends, and women. In a man's world, it is customary to demonstrate one's competence, and women are considered to be the weaker sex. Therefore, a business woman has to choose between a masculine behavioral style, which can lead to professional success, and a feminine behavioral style, which will increase the self-esteem of the men around her, but will not allow her to make a career. For example, calling a woman by her first name, last name, or a diminutive emphasizes her special position in the team, and a woman has to choose: accept it and doom herself to possible neglect, or deny it, and thereby risk ending up in a ridiculous position. Adult men in the workplace value rules above human relationships just as much as they did in childhood during group games. When men argue, they use harsh expressions, raise their voices, and gesticulate aggressively, but they do not perceive the situation as offensive and threatening to their self-esteem, and quickly forget about the quarrel and its cause. It's not like that for women. They have a hard time with the tense atmosphere of the discussion, perceive all attacks as directed against them personally, after losing a dispute, they take a long time to sort things out and do not soon resume communication.

Indeed, it is unlikely that girls’ need to express their emotional experiences in communication with peers is also only a consequence of their mother’s imitation. Most girls are naturally more emotional, which means that they have a stronger need to relieve emotional tension. Rather, behavioral characteristics should be viewed as phenotypic, as a fusion of innate and acquired.

The psychosocial problem is whether the difference in male and female business style is recognized as an objective fact, or whether it is assumed that there is a “right” and “wrong” style of behavior at work. In business communication, the “unisex” style means that a woman must give up her manner of flirting, flirting, being offended and crying, while a man retains the right to a tough style, playing by the rules, profanity, and indifference to his partner’s feelings. Sadly, the only way out is seen in changing the behavior of a business woman. Men are incapable of change. Consequently, understanding a man, maintaining the advantages of her perception of the world, a woman must abandon the negative traits of her psyche and behavior and influence the man and the male world with the help feminine power: wisdom, flexibility and sociability, love and care, readiness for self-sacrifice.

Communication style is related to how a personality manifests itself and how it interacts with other individuals. So, a man’s Persona corresponds to a “business” style of communication, which, apparently, coincides with the stereotype of male communication accepted in society. This style of communication presupposes long and medium psychological distances, and it is probably with this stereotype that the well-known fact in psychology is associated, noted, for example, by the authors of the book, that women prefer to communicate at closer distances than men. The average lifetime indicator of psychological closeness with the person closest to you at a given period of life, on a 100-point scale, according to self-assessment, is 80 points for men and 94 points for women. The closest relationships are most often established with women in both sexes - 63% for men, 60% for women.

The communication style of the female Persona is “passionate”. V. Gulenko, introducing this term, describes communication in this style as “an exchange of emotions, as a kind of “swimming in the stormy stream of life.” While agreeing with Gulenko that the “business” style of communication is a male stereotype of sociability, I cannot agree that the “mental” style of communication (IF) is feminine. In terms of Jungian psychology, this is rather flirting with a man’s Anima, and/or taking on male Anima projections, the desire to “play along” with them. The female stereotype of _communication_ should still be considered precisely the "passionate" style of communication. A man, in turn, can also play along with female animus projections, using the “cold-blooded” IT communication style, briefly explaining this or that.

One can even draw a bolder conclusion: stereotypical ideas about a woman as an IF are primarily male ideas, or more precisely, Anima projections, which women are only often inclined to play along with. The female Persona is actually just as extroverted as the male Persona. But the “ethical” character of the female Person is common in the stereotypical ideas of both sexes. As an example of animus projections in culture, one can cite a certain generalized idea of ​​​​a lone fighter for justice who will defeat all enemies with his intelligence, cunning and physical strength. This stereotypical image, clearly pointing to IT, has been repeatedly depicted in films and books.

Conclusion.

Already in childhood, a person imagines himself among other people as a future man or as future woman like a boy or like a girl. Identification with one’s gender, which has such deep penetration into a person’s self-awareness that it integrates across all links of self-awareness (incorrect determination of the dominant gender in hermaphrodites, etc.) is a serious trauma for a person, requiring subtle psychological support.

Therefore, the fact of raising a child in accordance with his gender is very important; from childhood, boys and girls should be taught the skills of communicating with the opposite sex.

So, male and female communication styles

Bibliography .

1. Valchevskaya S.V. Gender confrontation: independence or affection. Report

2.Timur Zilberstein.Persona and Soul

3. A. Kronik, E. Kronik. "Starring: You, We, He, You, Me." M., "Thought", 1988.

4.V.V.Gulenko. "Life scenarios: from ethical feelings to sensory drives."

Gender aspect in the work of a social rehabilitation team

6. E.P. Ilyin. Differential psychology of men and women. St. Petersburg: Peter, 2002.

7.Markova O.Yu. Collection scientific works"Current problems of communication theory." St. Petersburg - St. Petersburg State Polytechnic University Publishing House, 2004. - pp. 299-313.

8. R.S. Nemov. "Psychology", vol. 1 "General foundations of psychology", M., Humanit. ed. VLADOS center, 1997.

NATURE OF LANGUAGE

Language is the collection of words and systems of their use common to people of the same linguistic community. Although language communities differ in the words they use and in their grammatical and syntactic systems, all languages ​​serve the same purposes.

1. We use language to define, designate, characterize, and limit. Thus, when we identify a building as being of the "Rococo" era, we are distinguishing it from another that can be identified as "A-frame".

2. We use language to evaluate. Through language we express positive or negative attitudes. For example, if Max takes longer to make a decision than others, you might characterize Max positively as “brooding” or negatively as “a quitter.”

3. We use language to discuss things outside of our immediate experience. Language gives us the ability to reason hypothetically, report past and future events, and talk about people and things not present during conversation. Thus, we can use language to discuss where we hope to be in 5 years, analyze the conversation two acquaintances had last week, or study the history of the formation of the world in which we live.

4. We can use language to talk about language. We can use language to discuss how someone composed a phrase and whether it would be better to phrase the idea more clearly or in a way that would elicit a positive response. For example, if your friend said that she would meet you “today at noon”, and she was not there until 5 o’clock, then when naturally asked where she was, both of you will probably have to discuss the meaning of the expression “today at noon”.

To understand the concept of denotative meanings, you must complete the task. You must list ten slang words or expressions in your workbooks. Discuss the meaning you give to these words in contrast to the meaning your parents or grandparents give them (for example, “He's cool!”). Write your own definition of each of the following words, then look in a dictionary to see how well your definition matches the dictionary:

justice building

love ring

success tape

glass world

freedom honor

Language and meaning

At first glance, the relationship between language and meaning seems quite clear. We choose the right word, and people will interpret its meaning correctly. In fact, the relationship between language and meaning is not that simple at all, for two reasons: language must be learned, and the use of language is a creative act. First of all, we are not born knowing a language. Rather, each generation belonging to a particular linguistic community learns the language anew. We learn a lot of our language from early stage life, from our families, we learn even more at school. But we don't always know how to use the same words for the same purposes.

A second reason for some of the difficulties in the relationship between language and meaning is that, despite the presence of syntax and grammar in languages, every utterance is a creative act. When we speak, we use language to create new sentences that carry our intended meaning. Although on occasion we repeat sentence structures from other people to express our thoughts and feelings, some of our own utterances are unique.

A third reason for the complexity of the relationship between language and meaning is the different perceptions people have of the meaning of words. Words have two types of meanings: denotative and connotative.

Denotation. The direct, explicit meaning that a linguistic community formally assigns to a word is called its denotation. The denotation of a word is its meaning, which we find in dictionaries. Thus, denotatively, when Melissa spoke of her dog's death, she meant that her canine pet no longer showed signs of physical life. In some situations, the denotative meaning of a word is not always clear. Why? First, a dictionary definition reflects current or past practices accepted in a language community, and second, a dictionary uses words to define other words. As a result, words are defined differently in different dictionaries and often have multiple meanings that change over time. Additionally, the meaning may change depending on the context in which the word is used. For example, the dictionary defines the word gay as “cheerful,” “full of life,” and “homosexual.” Thus, context—the place of a word in a sentence and other words around it—plays an important role in correctly interpreting the meaning of that word. Not only the presence of other words, syntax and grammar of the dictionary message helps us understand and indicate the meaning of a particular word; the situation in which they were uttered also matters. Whether the expression “He’s really gay” is understood as a comment about someone’s sexual orientation or someone’s cheerful mood depends on the circumstances in which the conversation took place.

Connotation- the feelings or evaluations we associate with a word represent a connotation that can play an even more important role in our understanding of the meaning than the word itself.

S.K. Ogden and I.A. Richards (Ogden & Richards, 1923) were among the first scientists to consider misunderstandings between people due to the communicators' ignorance that their subjective reactions to words were based on their life experiences. The denotative and connotative meanings of a word are important because the only thing that matters is what the person understood from your message, regardless of what you intended to convey. The meaning varies depending on the subgroup of the language community. As we mentioned earlier, subgroups with unique cultures sometimes form within a large linguistic community. These subgroups develop their own variants of the main language, which leads to the emergence of word meanings that are understandable only to members of these subgroups. People from different subcultures look at the world from different points of view, so sometimes they find it difficult to understand each other. Cultures differ in how much meaning is attached to language and how much meaning depends on the context of communication.

In cultures with low level context - type Northern Europe or the United States, the meaning is contained mainly in the messages themselves transmitted. In low-context cultures, people say what they think and get straight to the point (Gudykunst & Matsumoto, 1996).

Thus, in a culture with a low level of context, “yes” means “I confirm, I agree with what was expressed.” Low-context cultures - information is contained primarily directly in the messages transmitted. Cultures with high level context, information is transmitted indirectly, and others must make inferences about the meaning of the message based on the physical and social context. In high-context cultures, such as Asian or Middle Eastern countries, the meaning of a message is based on the physical and social context. People from high-context cultures expect others to indirectly interpret the meanings of words. As a result, they convey meaning indirectly. In a high-context culture, “yes” might mean, “I agree, I agree with what you said,” or it might mean, “In this situation, I would feel embarrassed in front of you if I said no, so I will say yes, it will be more polite, but I really do not agree, and you should know this so that in the future you do not expect me to act as if I agreed with what you said.” People from high-context cultures expect others to understand hidden feelings and hints expressed in gestures that people from low-context cultures do not even catch. As a result, misunderstandings often occur. The United States has a low-context national culture. But the United States is a country of immigrants, and we know that every American approaches language differently depending on whether they come from high-context or low-context cultures. Therefore, although knowledge of the characteristics of national culture can be useful, it is imperative that we know how people may or may not behave in accordance with the characteristics of their ethnic cultures (Adamopoulos, 1999). Then why mention these differences at all? Because they give us clues about how and why people and cultures can differ. An important aspect of communication is being sensitive to people's needs and the differences between us, so we must understand the nature of those differences.

Gender differences in verbal communication. Research shows convincingly that differences in gender behavior are better understood than biological differences and that the difference is small rather than what is commonly believed (Wood & Dindia, 1998). There is no reason to believe that the differences observed between women's and men's speech patterns create “problems” for either group (Canary & Hause, 1993). However, many differences have been found between female and male speech patterns, and the solution to this problem has intrigued scientists. Mulac (1998) noted two differences in language use between men and women that seem to have received widespread attention:

1. Women use twice as many boosters and general concepts than men. Intensifiers are words that modify other words and serve to emphasize the idea conveyed by the original word. Thus, according to studies of the actual speech practices of men and women, women are most likely to use words like so, terrible, and absolutely (as in the sentence “That was absolutely wonderful” or “That’s so important”). General concepts modify words to soften and weaken the idea conveyed by the original word. Research shows that women prefer to use words such as to some extent, perhaps, or maybe (for example, “It was somewhat interesting that...” or “It might be important that...”).

2. Women ask questions more often than men. Women are much more likely than men to include questions in their speech such as: “Do you think so?” and “Are you sure?” In general, women tend to use questions to get more information and details, and to determine how others perceive information. But are these differences really important?

SUMMARY

Language is a system of symbols used to communicate. Through language we isolate, label and define, evaluate, talk about things outside our immediate experience, and talk about language itself. You will be a more effective communicator if you accept that language symbols are arbitrary, that language is learned and created, and that language and language perception are interrelated. The denotation of a word is its dictionary meaning. Despite the ease with which we can check a dictionary meaning, word denotation can still present problems because most words have more than one dictionary meaning. Changes in meaning occur faster than dictionaries are revised, words have different meanings if they are used in different contexts, and meaning can be obscured if more abstract words are used.

The connotation of a word is its emotional and personal meaning for the listener. Regardless of how a dictionary defines a word, we assign a meaning to it that is based on what we know from experience about the subject, meaning, or action that the word represents. You can enhance the clarity of language by choosing the most specific, specific, and precise word you can, and by dating and indexing generalizations.

Cultural differences in language result from similarities and differences in behavior between high-context cultures and low-context cultures. There are fewer differences in language use between men and women than previously thought, but women use more intensifiers and general terms than men, and women tend to ask clarifying questions more often than men. To speak appropriately means to use language that takes into account the needs, interests, knowledge and attitudes of the listener, and one must avoid language that alienates. Inappropriate language can be minimized if we eliminate the use of generic words, also eliminating such manifestations of non-parallel language as marking and unnecessary associations.

adulthood communication self-esteem emotional

Men and women are different from each other. They are no worse, no better than each other - they are different. Almost the only thing they have in common is that they are individuals of the same species. They live in different worlds, different values ​​are a priority for them, they act following different life rules.

A man and a woman differ not only biologically and anatomically, but also psychologically. It has long been noted that, compared to a man, a woman has greater intuition, is more interested in love and love relationships, and reacts differently to stress. They also have other problems and dissatisfaction in relationships.

One of the main problems a woman has in a relationship is that she forgets about her own needs and completely dissolves in her partner. It is much easier for a man to be selfish and inattentive to others, without even realizing it.

A man's habit of withdrawing into himself is also a source of great confusion for a woman. In stressful situations, a man tends to concentrate even more, and then he does not pay attention to anyone. He is immersed in the task of achieving his goal and forgets about everything else. It is difficult for a woman to come to terms with this because in stressful situations she tends to be expansive and even more aware of the needs of others, especially those who are dear to her.

Another significant difference between the sexes is that a woman, first of all, blames herself, and a man blames others. In case of quarrels and problems, a woman always feels too much responsibility. She first takes the load upon herself, and only then looks at how she can share it with others. A man tends to blame others before looking at how much of his own responsibility for the problem is. Such differences lead to great confusion in relationships.

If a man cheated on his beloved, she tends to immediately break off the relationship. For a woman, continuing the affair is pointless. He begins to weigh on her because he no longer carries with him an emotional connection, only physical intimacy remains. It is inherent in a man to separate love and sex. There is an opinion among experts that a man, thanks to the peculiarities of his brain, can easily commit treason. When a man says “sex,” he means a purely physical act, which does not mean a lack of love for the woman with whom he is together. For a woman's brain, it is not the physical act with another woman that is offensive, but the violation of emotional contact, the loss of trust that she felt in a man.

Little girls are already much more agile in their speech than boys. Over the years, this advantage continues. The average volume of communication among women is more than one and a half times greater than the volume of communication among men. For women, the process of communication is important, for men - the result. Men communicate better when they know the purpose of the conversation. Where a man prefers to force and buy, a woman seeks to charm or win over her interlocutor.

The weakness of many women is to gossip about the house, renovations, or even gossip. Men talk more about work, politics and sports. Men like to talk more about their successes, and women like to talk about their failures. A man prefers to think in silence and expresses only the final result.

Men express their feelings more difficult than women. A woman can always deceive a man. But only a few men manage to deceive a woman. Those who arrogantly think otherwise need not be deluded: just because a woman does not catch a lie, it does not follow that she was able to deceive her: she simply does not want to drive a man into a corner, fearing a break with him.

A. Maurois made the following observation: “Men lie unnaturally. Women who do this with amazing skill instantly reveal the slightest shade of lies in them. In the tone in which a guilty husband speaks, there is a deliberate ease and notes of excessive naturalness betray treacherously...”

Men's speech is more concise than women's, since a man is more categorical in his judgments. There is a lot of uncertainty in women’s speech; “yes” and “no” and “maybe” are simultaneously invisibly present in it. And this requires more time to present.

Adolescence is favorable for intimate and personal communication. The adolescence of first love, and very often unrequited love, is a kind of psychological trauma for many young people. In the future, he may avoid close communication with the opposite sex, close himself off, become unsure of himself and his abilities, and will think that he is not worthy of love and reciprocity. Or, on the contrary, become a kind of “avenger”, change girls like gloves, make them fall in love with you, and then dump them, and get pleasure from this way of life.

At this age, the similarity of the mechanisms of love and friendship is also most clearly visible; for example, friendship, like love, is often considered as a sublimation of the sexual instinct. According to Kreutz, among Austrian schoolchildren aged 15-17 years, the highest affective expectations regarding friendship are observed among those who do not yet have stable and successful contacts with peers. Once such contacts are established, the need for same-sex friendships decreases. Therefore, during adolescence there is inverse relationship between emotional involvement in friendships and love.

Metaphors of masculine and feminine different nations differ both in the degree of their development and significance, and in content. For example, in Russian chronicles the most important masculine and feminine properties are polarized, but at the same time everything masculine is assessed positively. The “male mind” is strong, logical, and stands on a par with patience, courage, and invincibility. On the contrary, the female mind is illogical and weak. Giving a woman masculine traits elevates her, while giving a man feminine traits degrades her. If a woman has a “man’s heart”, this is good, while a man with a woman’s heart is a weakling, a coward. Cowardly commanders are called “eunuchs with a woman’s heart.”

Both women and men love themselves in each other: she - because he loves her, he - because she gives him pleasure in sex.

Before spending the night with a man, a woman wants to understand whether she loves him. And a man can understand whether he loves a woman after spending the night with her. And all this because for a woman the goal is love, and sex is a means. For a man it’s the other way around: the goal is sex, and love is the means.

A woman wants a lot, but from one man. A man wants one thing, but from many women. It is easier for a woman to fall in love than to confess her love. And it’s easier for a man to confess than to fall in love.

“Men usually love those women they respect; women respect only the men they love” (V.O. Klochevsky).

In modern society, women's behavior is more controlled. A man is more likely to be forgiven for betrayal than a woman. Everyone will condemn her: women of the older generation, her husband, and probably her lover himself. A young woman is able to ignore the first opinion about herself. But my husband and lover are not.

In addition, women nowadays have much more possessiveness than representatives of the “stronger” sex. If a woman is smart and careful enough, then she will be friends with young, pretty girlfriends only “up to the threshold.” And, reluctantly, he will forgive his beloved for his accidental betrayal. He will only say: “That’s the kind of breed they have, men. Like children, they can’t live without sweets. If you don’t give it yourself, you’ll slowly take it from the closet.”

The same phenomenon is observed among Russian truck drivers and those working on a rotational basis. Every city has a wife. Women's competition for a man now significantly exceeds men's.

A recent survey conducted in the United States: “What would you rather have: a successful clothing purchase or amazing sex?” gave the following results: women preferred shopping in 46%, and sex - in 41%; men preferred shopping in 14%, and sex - in 76%.

It's no secret that sex occupies a larger place in the lives of men than in the lives of women. And it is not surprising that the average man and woman have different attitudes towards sex. For example, the wedding night, the moment of defloration, is a turning point in a woman’s life. In a man’s life, on the contrary, the first sexual intercourse often does not play any role, writes E.P. Ilyin in his book “Differential psychophysiology of men and women”.

Psychologists note that women are “moderately conservative” regarding casual sex, while men are “moderately tolerant.” Data collected from 177 studies covering a sample of 130,000 people showed that men found casual sex much more acceptable.

German psychologist Wilhelm Jonen writes that men, especially young men, often have an inadequate, “split” perception of women: they perceive them either as harlots or as saints. At the same time, it can be very difficult for them to combine these two ideas in the person of the particular woman with whom they are dealing. Some young men worship their lovers, carefully hiding their carnal and, as it seems to them, “indecent” desires, while others, on the contrary, try to appear deliberately rude and sexy. Such views have their origins in medieval religious views on a woman, who appeared either in the form of a Madonna or a Witch. The first, positive image was endowed with purity, innocence, aversion to sexual life, and the second represented temptation, “lust.” In psychoanalytic teachings there was also a dual attitude towards a woman: as a mother and as a sexual partner. This duality of attitude towards women was well described by Stefan Zweig: “...The Creator of this world, when he made men, clearly distorted something in them; therefore, they always demand from women the opposite of what they offer them: if a woman easily gives herself to them, men, instead of gratitude, assure that they can only love innocence with pure love. And if a woman wants to maintain innocence, they only think about how to snatch away her carefully kept treasure. And they never find peace, because the contradiction of their desires requires eternal struggle between flesh and spirit."

There is an opinion that a man is polygamous by nature and therefore always strives to possess the maximum number of women, while a woman is more monogamous and therefore can more often love one person without needing new sexual partners. This is confirmed by statistics. A survey of several thousand Americans found that, on average, a woman has two sexual partners during her lifetime, while men have six. Single men have sex more often and with a greater variety of partners than single women. Episodic, “one-time” sex is most typical for men with a traditional masculine attitude. This is explained from a biological point of view: a man’s function is exhausted immediately after he fertilizes a woman, but for a woman, from the moment of conception everything is just beginning: she will bear, give birth and feed the child. They also point out that males of most animals are also more sexually assertive and less picky in choosing partners.

In human society, it is also often the most aggressive and assertive male who achieves success, and not the best one. Most women give up not because their passion is strong, but because their weakness is great. This is why enterprising men are usually so successful, even though they are by no means the most attractive. A number of such men have a very pronounced psychopathological Don Juan syndrome. It is associated with a painful hypertrophy of the role of the sexual sphere in a person’s life, when sexuality takes on the character of manic ambition and turns into a kind of sport. Often it is a consequence of internal self-doubt, masking sexual weakness or the inability to build normal love relationship With a woman. All these complexes are transformed into overcompensation for feelings of inferiority, into a desire for self-affirmation through numerous sexual “victories” over women.

Scientists also note differences in the activity of mental activity regarding its content: in men it manifests itself in self-affirmation and self-expression, in women - in communication and establishing emotional contacts. Girls and women are more responsive to other people's experiences, they understand the other person emotionally, rather than rationally, and are more empathetic and sympathetic. However, the willingness to help a person is more noticeable among boys and men.

In interpersonal relationships, women show greater emotional interest than men, impulsiveness combined with some hostility and an exaggerated readiness for self-defense. They are less self-focused and less authoritarian. Women react easily and habitually to the intrusion of a new man into their usual social circle. Men perceive the appearance of a woman in their “personal space” more aggressively. Both men and women primarily evaluate a new character of the opposite sex in terms of sexual attractiveness.

Demanding proof of love, the man insists on physical intimacy, and for a woman spiritual contacts and purely external manifestations attention to her - flowers, gifts, affectionate treatment - everything that a man considers as insignificant symbolism.

From a woman’s point of view, it is surprising that a man gradually refers her to the external environment, to which he does not want to bare his soul. Women are more open and demand self-disclosure from their partner.