Should you call your man first? How men react when a woman calls first How not to call a man first

A woman in love is inspired by new feelings and, of course, she expects a response right away. Some ladies, without waiting for the call of their beloved man, begin to cut off his phone. This behavior is not correct. So many different questions come to mind, but the most important one is: can I call first? We will try to give a detailed answer to this.

In what cases can you call first?

No one can stop you from calling your loved one before he dials your number. But, nevertheless, it is recommended to adhere to some rules so as not to get into an absurd situation. Here are some simple tips:

• You can call first, using a little feminine trick. Come up with some kind of problem that cannot be solved without his participation. A man will be pleased to help you and know that he is needed.
• Your possible chosen one long time looked after you, tried in every way to meet you, but you were “cold” and not criminal. Suddenly you decide to give him a chance, but the man doesn’t know about it. In this situation, it is permissible to call him yourself.
• The guy doesn't have your phone number. You simply forgot to dictate the treasured numbers. And somehow you still have his number. If you decide to continue communicating with him, you can tell him about it over the phone.
• It happens that the man himself asked the girl to call him, for example, when she is free, wakes up, or comes out to meet him. There is nothing wrong with this call.

Situations when you should not call first

There are times when it is strictly not recommended to call a man first. This can not only completely ruin your relationship, but also make you look like a frivolous and inexperienced woman. Basic Rules:

• Don't be persistent and annoying. You can't call every half hour and ask how he's doing. If you have already called, now wait for a call from your loved one. Have patience.
• If a man refuses you for any reason, then you should not humiliate yourself and persuade him to meet, especially by using phone calls. This way you will achieve nothing, but will only worsen your situation.
• If you couldn’t resist and called your loved one first, then think through your dialogue in advance. Under no circumstances call when you are not in a good mood. A man should hear a joyful and happy voice in the telephone receiver. It is important to position a person for communication.
• It is necessary to figure out where the girl got the man’s phone number after the first date or meeting. If he did not give the number, then under no circumstances should the woman call first. Otherwise, he will simply think that you are stalking him. Not all men like it when they start bothering you on the phone with intrusive questions. The stronger sex wants to take every new step towards the lady on their own.
• You spent the night together, then the first call should come exclusively from a man. If a girl does this, then he will simply stop respecting her and lose all interest in her.
• If you are not yet in a relationship. You see each other every day, but have not yet become a full-fledged couple. This period is usually called courtship. The first calls should always be made by a man in this case.
• There was a quarrel in which the man was to blame. Hold firm and wait for the man to take the first step towards reconciliation. After all, in this way he will demonstrate his true attitude towards you.

Possible reaction of a man if he was not the first to call

Not all men like it when a girl takes the first steps in a relationship. Below we will describe several possible options a man's reaction to a girl's call.

The man didn't answer the call

There are several reasons why a man does not call back. Here are the main ones:

• Playing on a woman's feelings. Sometimes a man meets a girl, invites her on a first date, takes her phone number and disappears. He does not call back on purpose in order to increase his confidence and self-esteem at the expense of her feelings, and her number is a kind of reward or trophy that he boasts to his friends.
• Vivid impressions. Some men don't look Serious relationships, but meet with women in order to gain new emotions and impressions.
• Politeness. The man is too well-mannered and polite to immediately refuse you further communication. He simply believes that by writing down the woman’s phone number, he gave her a pleasant compliment and nothing more.
• A loss. Of course, it also happens when a guy just accidentally lost your phone number, but he doesn’t mind continuing to communicate with the girl.
• He has another one. A man who already has a girlfriend will not call back. And meeting you was a light flirtation. You shouldn't hope for more.

Rough and dry answer

In this case, the woman should explain who she is and find out if he has time to communicate with her. If the answer is no, then ask to call you back. Now you just have to wait. Don't beat yourself up in advance. Everything will definitely become clearer after the conversation.

Joyful voice

If his answer was friendly, then this means that your call is welcome and you can talk. Here are a few simple examples, what you can talk about with a man on the phone:

• ask how his day was, whether he was successful at work;
• talk about your plans and achievements;
• trite, but briefly discuss the weather;
• about travel, plans for the future;
• show off your knowledge of cars (men love this);
• cinema is the most win-win option.

Sometimes women can be extremely impatient. In some situations this helps, but in others it completely ruins everything. Respect your partners. Learn to be wise and a little cunning. Then success will await you in your relationship, and you will be happy.

You met a person you liked. You may have already dated him several times or even become his lover. Now you are dying to call him and find out if he is interested in you, if there is any chance of interest in him in the future.

You are frantically looking for an excuse. Perhaps, you convince yourself, he simply forgot about you, and a call will refresh his memory. Stop. You are making a serious mistake. By calling a man, you give him an advantage. You are losing your power. He thinks: “Oh, she wants me!” But if mobile phone burns your fingers, call according to the rules from Tracy Cabbot, author of the book “Late Marriage - Smart Marriage”.

To call or not to call, that is the question...

10 rules to follow when calling a man

• 1 Resist your desire to call for as long as possible. Think about something else. Stay away from the phone. Ask a friend for help. In most cases, you will win if you refuse to call a man. No matter what you say, he will think that you are stalking him.
• 2 If a call is inevitable, prepare for it. Practice what you will say in advance. Your voice should sound cheerful and joyful, as if you are enjoying life or are about to do it - then he will decide that he is missing out on something. Never call a man when you're depressed.
• 3 Be sure to come up with an excuse to call. Be prepared to end the conversation quickly and casually if you receive an unfriendly response. “I'm in a hurry now. I wanted to know what's new with you. Let's talk another time."
• 4 After calling once, wait for a call back. If you call a man more than once without waiting for a return call or an offer to meet, you will thereby demonstrate that you are too ready for a date and are unable to control your feelings.
• 5 If you want to invite a man somewhere, be specific. Don't tell him, "Hey, I'd like to watch a movie sometime." It’s better to say this: “The boss gave me two tickets to a hockey game that will take place on Thursday. You want to go?" Or: “I just signed an important contract, and a client presented me with a bottle of Veuve Clicquot.” I don't like drinking alone. Would you like to come over and join me?” Or: “I have friends over on Saturday. Would you like to join us?
• 6 Usually a man feels flattered when a woman invites him somewhere. However, he may experience confusion. Therefore, be prepared to instruct him in detail, tell him the details. Name the time, dress code, meeting place. “I'll pick you up at eight. No tie required. I'll take care of everything." Or: “Come straight to the restaurant. Put on a suit. The reception starts at eight and only appetizers will be served, so eat beforehand.” Men are always worried about whether they will be fed.
• 7 Be prepared for rejection. If he says no, end the conversation cheerfully and quickly, as if you were rushing to move on to the next name on your list. Don't beg. Hide your disappointment.
• 8 If he says yes to your offer to meet, don't expect him to pay. In the world of adults, the one who invites pays. If you invite a man to your home, he expects sex. If you don't want to have sex, don't invite a man over alone.
• 9 Never invite a man twice in a row. If he declined your first invitation, refrain from the second one. If a man is interested in you, now it's his turn to ask you out.
• 10 Do not think that your invitation obliges the man to take a similar response. IN real life This doesn't always happen. You are taking a risk - just like a man inviting a woman. He might want to see you again, maybe he won't. By inviting him, you only get a chance to show him what he can get if he wants. Refrain from inviting someone unless you are ready to put your best foot forward. A second chance may not come.

Are you waiting for his call as much as the Africans are waiting for the rain? Do you doubt whether you can call a man first? And even pride doesn’t allow it, it prompts: “He promised to call back himself.” But a day passes, two, three...

You pluck up courage and call yourself: after all, we have gender equality, and anyone can call first. To the drumbeat of your own heart, you dial the number, listen to the beeps, and... And that's all. Or another option - another promise to call back in a day/week/month/year.

Let's look into this painful situation “between us girls.” Why do guys sometimes allow themselves to so persistently ignore you as a mobile subscriber and as a girl?

Reasons why he doesn't call

The first reason is fantastic. Perhaps your long-awaited gentleman is a terribly unlucky person. He had an accident, experienced amnesia and now painfully remembers your number, as well as his name and age. Well, at this time you are sitting and thinking, “Who should call first after a date?”

The version is equally plausible: your lover is a CIA/KGB/FSB agent, and was forced to change his passwords and identities before his enemies found him. Naturally, he can’t contact you via mobile phone – it’s wiretapped. Or, God forbid, his enemies have already found him, and... But it’s better not to think about it, so as not to panic. However, yes, I wouldn’t believe it either.

Reason two. Banal. He forgot your phone number. Happenes. Didn't write it down, mixed up a couple of numbers, or lost my mobile phone. Or mom washed her jeans, in the pocket of which there was a piece of paper with the number that you so carefully wrote in your beautiful handwriting. And then it turns out that in vain you’ve been sitting for the third day and wondering whether you should call the man first.

More serious reasons why he doesn't call

Reason three. Family. While you are thinking whether you should call first, he is suffering from the fact that his family is against you meeting with him. Maybe they are Orthodox Jews, communists or hereditary princes of Danish blood, and “their” mother considered you a fidgety person, not appreciating the new short skirt on your VK avatar.

Classical literature tells us that a true Romeo should still give a damn about such prohibitions. The main thing is not to overdo it, like Shakespeare, and not drink poison.

It’s another matter if it’s not his mother who opposes his call, but his wife. Well, or the one who considers herself this wife. In this case, he is, of course, a scoundrel, and, of course, one should not rely on honesty in further relationships. Whether it’s worth waiting for his call depends on the man’s conscience. Maybe he’ll decide to go left a couple more times and then, for old times’ sake, he’ll call you.

How to recognize a liar? Usually married gentlemen, or “married people,” as they are popularly called, still call back, complaining about the reasons from the first point. This is how it’s easy to figure them out and, having understood their motives, reject the call or find a way to take terrible revenge. If your imagination is enough.

Reason four. Offensive. He just didn't like you. It happens - you liked him, but he didn’t like you. You can send an intriguing text message asking for another chance, but it's better to switch to someone with better taste and not guess after the first date who should call first.

And a couple of final reasons for ignoring

Reason five. Strange. There are guys who always promise something, but never deliver. Your chosen one has probably already promised a lot of things to different people, and is now avoiding contact. It's akin to some kind of mental disorder. However, this man has a great future - with such a talent to promise a lot and then make excuses, he may well become a deputy.

Reason six. Psychological. Your friend is seriously offended. You hurt his manhood by thinking you were just correcting an overinflated ego. For men, this is a painful thing - almost like a blow to the groin. So there is no need to think about why he doesn’t call, perhaps it’s your turn to write “I love you” on the blue sky with balloons.

As you can see, the man has no compelling reasons not to call, and there cannot be. Even if he is experiencing serious financial difficulties and cannot top up his phone account. You sit and wait, wondering if you can call the man first. So he could ask a friend for a phone number, after all. You can be found on VKontakte or Odnoklassniki. You can do a lot of things... But you can’t offend a girl by ignoring her.

To ensure that a man always calls you back himself, read the useful articles on our Training and Self-Development portal: find out, and also from the first minutes of communication, who does not need a serious relationship.

Every girl at least once in my life I thought about whether the guy could be first or not. Every second person has had a situation where they seem to want to dial a familiar number and get pricked. It is not clear exactly what to do under such life circumstances. On the one hand, stereotypes that are ingrained in one’s head insist that it is not appropriate for a girl to take the first step. But a call does not always mean the first step. There are situations when it is not only possible, but even necessary to call the guy first so as not to ruin the relationship.

You can call first:
1) If you are already have been in a relationship for some time, and are designated to people around them as a couple, then you can safely call first. Since he is your boyfriend, and no one reaches out to anyone anymore, you are already together, he will not think that you are running after him. However, you should not constantly annoy him with calls, because he may become fed up with it. Give him the opportunity to take some initiative in the relationship. If only he constantly calls, it may seem to him that you are not at all interested in communicating with him and do not need it.

2) If a guy has been chasing you for a long time, tried to reach you, but you still didn’t give in. And then one fine day they decided to give him a chance, apparently having taken a better look at him and realizing that he was not so bad. And maybe something can work out for you. During this time, the guy could have completely lost hope that he will ever have a chance to communicate with you, so he will probably stop calling you. Therefore, you will have to call yourself and, with some hints, let the guy know that you are not indifferent to him either.

3) If he doesn't have your number. For example, he begged for it from you for a long time, but you did not dictate the cherished numbers to him. And you could easily get his number through his friends. If you want to continue getting to know him, you can safely call first, he will only be happy.

4) If he himself asked you to call. Guys often cheat by telling a girl, as if by chance, to call him when, for example, she wakes up, gets off work, etc. Thus, the guy teaches the girl to call first. Over time, she may get used to it and start calling without a reminder, not considering this act shameful. However, this is a misconception.

There are also situations, in which it is strictly forbidden to call the guy first. This will not only ruin your relationship, but it will also make you look bad.

1) If you just had your first date. You talked, got to know each other a little, but it’s not clear what impression you made on him. Of course, feminine curiosity can consume you, but try to pull yourself together. If you call him first now, I assure you, this will always be the case. And you won't get any calls from him.

2) If you haven't started a relationship yet. You see each other almost every day, but are not yet a couple. Despite this fact, you have already had one, but you are still not close enough. This period can be called courtship. And men should look after. Therefore, do not take this bread away from him, let him feel like a conqueror, and at this time he will be the first to do everything.

3) If you always called each other equally, and suddenly he suddenly stopped calling. Sometimes it happens. Maybe he has some urgent business or something serious has happened. But he might also just be tired of your relationship with him and decide to take a short break. And if you start calling him now, he will be even more annoyed because of this.

4) If you had sex for the first time. After this, a man is simply obliged to call first, and if you do this, you will forever lose respect in his eyes, since he will decide that you are an insecure girl who is afraid of being abandoned after spending the night with her.

5) If you had a major quarrel at stake, in which he is clearly to blame. Or you are both equally to blame, then you should not be the first to beg for his forgiveness, no matter how dear your partner is to you. Give him the opportunity to show his attitude towards you and show his interest in the truce.

Despite these adviсe Whether to call the guy first or not is up to you to decide. Perhaps your situation will be an exception to the rule, and if you do not act as your heart tells you, everything will get worse.

Chat, kiss, and other similar things.

It's been a long time since we could communicate on the phone. That is, they could communicate only in person. But everything has changed. Slowly, home phones began to appear, with which one could communicate without borders, and then mobile phones. It would seem, what is the difference between them? The answer is simple - in the name and mobility.Yes, yes, now we can all communicate on the phone, regardless of our position in the world. This is very convenient, but because of this the world has completely changed. Women can call a man from anywhere and at any time, just like men, however. But there is only one difference that separates them. Women, by nature, love to communicate. Communication is like a drug for them; they cannot live even a day without it. And now, there is a mobile phone, which means there is communication without borders. The main thing is not to forget to top up your account, since everything costs money.

Now you’re probably thinking: “Why is there even a conversation about phones? " Everything is very simple, since our main topic of the current discussion is the question: “How often can you call a man so as not to get bored of him? “, then we will discuss telephone calls, everything connected with them, and what method to use, no matter what bothers the man you love.

So, this whole story at the beginning of the text will help us in the future.

First you need to figure out how much you like to talk? And now we are not talking about your beloved man, but about simple conversations on the phone. If it’s not enough, but mostly you like to call your loved one, try to distract yourself, talk to your friends. Forget about him for a while. When a certain moment comes, and you, or he, has a serious reason, you will definitely call. This is one way not to bother, that is, not to call a man. But, as you may have noticed, here we don’t refuse to call him, we just spend all this time talking with our friends. This method works for some, but not for others. It all depends on the character of the person.

Let's deviate a little from the methods for now. You must understand for sure that you are annoying your husband. If this is not the case, and suddenly some changes occur, he will definitely notice it, and then you may have a scandal, which you obviously would not want. How will this happen? Well, just imagine, your loved one called you every evening and morning, and wished you Good night, or, respectively, good morning. And he absolutely always did this. Now imagine what will go through your head if he systematically starts missing calls and doesn’t call you? And if you dial him, he won’t pick up the phone. There is something similar here, so there is no need to make a sharp transition. It's better to talk to him, ask if you're bothering him. When is he free to talk on the phone? You must find out everything from him. And if he makes an excuse, saying that he is busy now, then you calmly answer him that it will be better for both of you. He simply must understand you.

In general, the very irritation of calls among men is very pronounced. Because of this, he may even break up with his girlfriend. Yes, there are such cases. But it’s better not to let things get to that point and solve all the problems that arise during married life right away. Otherwise it might backfire on you later.

Now, let's get back to the methods. So, now you know that you can occupy your free time with other things besides communicating with your loved one. What else can you do to avoid calling a man often? There is one option. To some it may seem very stupid, but still. Remember the beginning of the article, where we talked about the fact that previously we communicated only in person. So here it is. Try leaving your mobile phone at home, or remove its number from your contact list. This will only work if you don't know his phone number by memory, which would be the ideal situation. In this case, you will only be able to make calls when you are at home. You can tell your husband that your phone is broken, or something like that. Improve your relationship with your husband as this will only strengthen your marriage or your relationship.

There is one more piece of advice, but it is highly not recommended to use it. You can just stop calling altogether. Follow the principle. It’s better that he calls you than you call him. Do not call him under any circumstances, only for some very important reason when it comes to life and death. But keep in mind that in this case you need to know your man well enough, otherwise he may follow the principle, and then your relationship will definitely end.

In fact, a man will not be very upset with you if you suddenly tell him that you don’t want to bother him. You can find an option for regular meetings with him. You can go anywhere every day. In this case, the calls will be only on business, and you will be able to communicate on other topics with him in person. This will be much more convenient, both for you and for him.

The main thing is to find a time that is convenient for both of you. Choose a good environment where you can discuss all the issues, just chat and other things that you can do together.

You must convince yourself and understand that you need to communicate only in person, and not when you want it. When you meet in person, you have eye contact and you can touch each other. Lots of unlimited possibilities. What about a phone call? Well, we talked, that's all. Convince yourself of the benefits of meeting in person, and then you will definitely stop calling your lover often.

We hope that our article has convinced you that it is very easy not to bother a man. As you can see, there are several basic methods. To be honest, the most effective of them is the last one. That is, you can call only to make an appointment, or some other important reason, and so - all discussions in person.